Now, where were we? Ah yes, Sunday. The big day. The Banquet. The videos. The swag. We began the day by waking up. We ate great food provided by the BD. We resisted the urge to go back to bed. We should have.
The Banquet was, of course, a shimmering success, with three Beer Can Chickens seated at the head of the Banquet Table along with The Banquet Director her ownself. We ate and drank our fill. Everyone was still buzzing about the near epic performances during the previous night's Lip Sync Competition and a clamor arose, as did some smoke coming from the pool deck, to air the video so we could thrill once again to our unbridled talents. And it was so. The performances aged well and had lost none of their luster after an entire day. Stan then forced the captive crowd to sit through several new videos from AI Productions including "Hey, XIX," "It Was a Very AI Year" and "The Most Interesting Stan(s) in the World." And thus did AI-XIX inexorably move toward its inevitable and redundant close.
And that was Sunday.
But wait there was more. Is it buoyancy? That the AI is simply not as buoyant as, say, the average watermelon? No, that's not it. It's a four letter word. Beer? Plenty of it, but that's not it. Wine? Same, but no. Golf? Yes, that's it, then it's the hundred hour war won by Gor!
Against the better judgment of some, the fearful fivesome headed to Shingle Creek for the ultimate round of AI-XIX. You will remember (of course) that there was an unprecedented 3-way tie at the top after Saturday's marathon at Falcon's Fire with Rich, Wally and Gordon all posting net 76 with Burke mired 4 shots back. With Sunday's handicaps factored in, Gordon began the day with a 6 shot lead over Rich, a daunting 10 shots in front of Burke and an implausible 12 in front of Paze. But we're talking about Gordon and the AI. Things change faster than Donald Trump's hairline. When play was halted for about 30 minutes after 4 holes due to heavy rain, the real question became if the group would be able to finish before dark on the 4th longest day of the year. Past proved prologue, the lead proved tenuous, and after 8 holes, Burke had made up the 10 shot stagger on Gordon with Heimsch only 1 back after his meltdown triple on #8. Paze was presciently disinterested. The Ranger at Shingle Creek was interested, however. He had warned the AI Boys about their (lack of) pace of play before the rain began and became downright ornery as they prepared to play their 2nd shots on the ninth. Gordon & Paze, always obedient, finished the hole forthwith with pars, the ever acquiescent Burke tapped in forthfifth with a bogey and when Heimsch did the same, Paze and Reef announced that they were heading to the bar and not to the 10th tee. Gordon took a look at the scoreboard and noticing he held the 27-hole lead, had an AI-I flashback and quickly decided to join Wally and Jim. With weather and the ranger threatening to upend the final 9, Burke followed suit leaving Heimsch to go along or walk back to HQ. After a long pause, he chose to get in the Official Car.
And thus was Gordon crowned AI Champion for the first time in 18 years - the longest span between victories in AI history.
And, more importantly, the only player with two asterisks.
Our Champion
