Tee For Two

In a stunning upset, The Banquet Director and her husband topped the field in last weekend's annual Couples Club Championship at Bay Hill.  In only their second attempt, the duo played nearly flawless couples golf through the three 6-hole formats and won the net title in 61.8 strokes defeating 20 other teams including former Arnold Palmer Invitational  Champion Robert Gamez and his bride.  Kathi also dragged Stan around well enough to finish 4th gross at 77, 6 back of Gamez.

This epic event entails a best ball format for holes 1-6; modified alternate shot (both players drive and play alternately upon selecting the drive with a minimum of 2 drives/player for the 6 holes) for holes 7-12 and finally a scramble for the final 6 with the same 2 drive minimum.  The kids began on 16 with a par when Stan's 6-iron approach for a potential eagle putt splashed pin high left.  They rebounded quickly though with natural birdies on 17 & 18 (Kathi's drive and Stan's 5-iron to 6' from the back pin).  They then negotiated the best ball portion in 4 under net & 2 over gross before turning to the always entertaining alternate shot.  The marriage survived the alternate shot in 29/22.2, although it was temporarily jeopardized by a lost ball from Stan on #12,  before returning to the comfort of the scramble for the final 3.  Another natural birdie on 13 followed by a par and a bogey (2 missed 5-footers for par) and it was time for a gin & tonic and the coronation as the champs.

Photo of the title holders with their crystal bowl to follow.

Summoning The Demon

"I think we should be very careful about AI," the CEO of both SpaceX and Tesla, said Friday in a talk at MIT in Cambridge, Mass. "If I were to guess at what our biggest existential threat is, it's probably that."

"With AI we are summoning the demon," he said. "You know all those stories where there's the guy with the pentagram and the holy water, and it's like yeah, he’s sure he can control the demon. Doesn't work out."

This isn't the first time Musk has expressed concerns over AI In an interview with The Huffington Post in January, he said, "I hope the AI is nice to us."

Among those who seem to share Musk's concerns is celebrated physicist Stephen Hawking.

"Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history," Hawking said in a Huffington Post blog post co-written by physicists Max Tegmark and Frank Wilczek and computer scientist Stuart Russell. "Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks."

** special thanks to AI-V and AI-XV Champion Bob Paze for his investigative reporting on behalf of the AI media department.

Your Lip Sync Champion

The question of whether to make the Lip-Sync a part of AI-XIX was also addressed in the polling.  The data indicate that there is great interest in an encore.  There were 8 outright 'yes' votes, 3 'maybes' and 1 voyeur: "yes, but with me watching."  Stay tuned for updates and tweaks over the next 50 weeks leading up to AI-XIX.

And, mostly, thanks to all for pouring their energy, heart and soul and making it a night to remember (and you will, assuming the video camera was working).

And The Winner Is.....

The latest addition to the already hysterically paced AI, the Lip Sync competition, brought a range of talent and creativity to the proceedings that could not have been prophesied by NostraStanUs and left all in attendance gasping for the air that their peals of laughter had expelled from their lungs.

Someone had to go first; who could it be (now)?  Who else?  Edie, with a rollicking rendition of the Men Without Hats classic "Safety Dance" complete with....the safety dance.  Next up, Stan, with an improbable interpretation of Taylor Swift's romantic story of true love "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."  This assault on everyone's musical sensibilities was followed by The Apartment Co-Founder Reef, who provided a Sybil-like interpretation of the timeless Sonny & Cher duet "I Got You Babe."  Heimsch reached even farther back into the rock 'n roll archives for the doo-wop classic "Runaround Sue" by Dion & The Belmonts, although no Belmonts were in evidence.  We then saw Kathi ratchet up the intensity with George Thorogood's killer classic "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" only to be foiled by a balky internet that forced her to regroup, restart and still rock the house.  Wally, ever the reluctant warrior, reached deep into his oeuvre and, festooned in fedora and wielding a tennis racket cum Gibson Les Paul, soared through The Allman Brothers' "One Way Out" as a only a guitar hero could.    Kate, fortified by several gallons of Mollydooker Shiraz, strode around the room to The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)", while her roommate, Sean, wryly (?) announcing her choice  as "a song for my generation" ripped through LMFAO's (featuring Lil Jon) "Shots!"  Nora, expressing deeply held feelings that can only be shared among close friends, emoted Cee Lo Green's heart felt relationship tone poem "Fuck You." She was followed by the dark introspection of daughter Emma rocking the coveted AI-XVII hoodie in the dead of summer, who shocked and awed with a pitch perfect take of EMMAnem's "Lose Yourself."   Tony, sporting home made props and the AI-XVIII bucket hat, told us how to stay true to the AI and "Stand By Your Man (Stan)" in an inspired and perspired take on the Tammy Wynette classic.   Gordon brought the show to a stunningly hilarious conclusion with a 'piano-sync,' involving formal AI wear and printed program notes.  He then demonstrated his virtuosity with a performance of John Cage's inaudible classic: 4'33".  Smugly and correctly  anticipating an encore, Gordon wrapped up the proceedings with the equally sonic "Sphinxes from Carnaval" by  Robert  Schumann.

All participants were then given the opportunity to vote anonymously via the internets for their 3 favorite performances.  A first place vote was worth 3 points; a second place vote, two; and a third place vote, one point.  All 12 performers voted.  As the votes poured in, it quickly became apparent that the race for the coveted Lip Sync trophy was going to be a pitched (if not, off-pitch) battle between Sean and Emma.  Emma received 6 first place votes to Sean's 4; no one else received more than 1.  Interestingly, just as no MLB player has ever been unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame, both Emma & Sean were left off of two ballots entirely.  Still, they were the only performers whose vote tally reached double digits, in fact they both soared over the 20 point mark.  When it was all said and done however, Sean's 22 points fell 4 points short of Emmanem's 26 and thus the winner and recipient of the first AI Lip Sync trophy is EMMA!!

Postscript:  We apologize for the inordinate amount of time it took to conduct the balloting for this highly prized award, but we are in Florida after all.

Quick Update

Heading into the final day of AI-XVIII -
GOLF:  after a sterling front nine navigated in 40 strokes - Heimsch finished ahead of the pack after Day 1 with net 73, 3 clear of Gordon, 6 clear of Stan and 9 ahead of Paze.  Given today's handicaps, Gordon leads by 3 heading into the final 18.

LOS was completed - results TBA

The inaugural Lip Sync contest was a rousing success with everything from Eminem to Taylor Swift to LMFAO to Sonny & Cher featured at one point or another.

There is approximately 27 pounds of barbecue remaining for anyone still hungry.

More later.

Friday Recap

The first full day was a typically busy one at AI-XVIII, chock full of excitement, sweat, hail, salt and beer.  When Gordon arrived at Bay Hill this morning, the field was complete and we were ready for the beginning of golf action.  The temperature/humidity combination of late June in Orlando sent the Heat Index soaring over the 100 degree mark but the players soldiered on, refusing to yield to the often oppressive conditions.   Gordon & Stan jumped out to a 1 up lead right out of the shoot when Stan drained a par putt on #1 and it looked to all as if this would be just another steam roller match for Gordon,  the nonpareil and often non-compos-mentis 4-Ball Champion. The lead stayed at 1 until Paze & Heimsch were gifted the 4th hole.  But when, Paze & Heimsch won 8 & 9, the lead was 2 up at the turn.  Play sharpened up quite a bit on the back, with both Heimsch & Stan shooting 40 and Paze adding a 42.  Gordon's par on 10 and birdie on 11 quickly brought his team back to even with the interlopers from Pennsylvania and Tejas.  Heimsch's par on 12 gave his squad a lead they would hold until both he and his partner 3-putted 17 and suddenly we were all even with 1 hole to go.  All the players hit serviceable drives, however both Heimsch & Paze ended up in the greenside bunkers while Gordon lofted high onto the hill left of the green.  Stan meanwhile stroked a 9-iron to about 20' above the cup. Heimsch hit a magnificent sand shot to about 5 feet and when he holed out for 4 after Stan had already done so, the result was the 2nd tie in AI 4-Ball History.  One need to go all the way back to the very first event, played at MetroWest where Jim and Gordon tied Mitch and Nick in a 9-hole match.  Given the heat index, and the looming first day of Lack of Skills, there was a unanimous vote to enter the air-conditioned Men's Locker Room for 30 minutes to drink beer, eat goldfish and nuts and not move.  Then just as the players' and Jim's body temperatures had dipped below critical levels, KT Marinari arrived ready for action in LOS.  So off we went.

We had 3 different winners in the first 3 categories as Kathi won the Long Drive, Rich the 70 yard shot and Wally the chip/pitch shot.  Gordon, wilting in the intense heat of both the Orlando summer and the pressure of the AI, finished last in all 3 events.  The standings after Day 1 have Kathi & Rich tied at the top with 12 points, Wally next with 10, followed by Stan with 8 and Gordon trailing the field with 3.  The putting, sand play and 40 yard shot remain.

Bowling For Sotweeds went to Kings Bowl America for the first time.  There were lights, but not the kind that help you see anything, huge video screens, loud music, lots of food and beer and some bowling.  Paze opted out pleading a fragile back; Gordon fought through an injured knee for 1 game but took himself out of the competition for Game 2.  The results?  Same as it ever was (almost):  Reef won the Boys Side and Edie the Girls BUT with her stirring performance and Reef's advancing age, Edie came within 4 pins of toppling Reef for the overall crown and family bragging rights at the upcoming STIFF weekend in a couple of weeks.  There will be crowing nonetheless.

A few more music videos, a vain attempt at Rickles and Seinfeld thwarted by a balky network, and one by one the group shuffled off to sleep with dreams of Day 2 and the beginning of the AI Championship on their minds.  More importantly, everyone was prepping for the highly anticipated debut of AI-Lip Sync.  Can anyone other than Sean, Kate and Emma remember the words to their songs?

And that's the way it was on Day 1 of AI-XVIII.

Important Wardrobe Information for Bowling For Sotweeds

The AI Bowling For Sotweeds Committee calls your attention to the following Dress Code in place for tonight's action.  This is an obvious attempt to limit groups such as ours from patronizing this establishment, but we shall persevere nevertheless.

Dress Code

• No excessively baggy clothing of any kind
• No work style boots
• No baseball caps
• No bandanas/doo rags
• No sleeveless shirts
• No bluetooth devices
• No oversized chains or pendants
• Persons wearing torn or soiled clothing may only be admitted at the discretion of Management
• No hats, clothing, jewelry or visible tattoos with profanity or objectionable art
• Sunglasses may not be worn on the premises
• All back packs and/or bags are subject to be searched by Kings staff

Kings reserves the right to modify the dress code guidelines for any reason, including or due to local or seasonal conditions or special events.