The Year(s) of Living Dangerously

It is 2018.  And as we open the second chapter of what the AI Editorial Board has, since January 20, 2017, come to call "The Years of Living Dangerously" we fear from danger that looms everywhere.  

From Mudslides. From Harvey Weinstein. From ISIS. From Steve Bannon. From the Alt Right (although there are very fine people in that group). From Charlie Rose. From the rapists and murderers coming from Mexico (although, again, we have been assured there are some good people there as well).  From Louis C.K.  From Fox News (sic).  From Matt Lauer.  From Fukushima.  From Bill Cosby.  From Yemen. From Mario Batali.  From the NFL.  From Kevin Spacey.  From shithole countries.  From Bill O'Reilly.  From Hawaii.  From Little Rocket Man.
From the 45th (& hopefully not last) President of the United States.

And so, for the XXIInd time, the call goes out to The AI to summon the better angels of our nature.  

Yes, it is time once again for The AI, the lyme disease of golf tournaments, to emerge from its dormancy and infect our consciousness.  There is no cure.  No vaccine.  But there will be wine, bowling and lip sync.

In other news, The AI Etymology Committee, alerted by Emma-nem, is flabbergasted to report that "Stan" was just added to the Oxford Dictionaries.  To further clarify, back in 2000, Eminem released "Stan" - a song written about an overly obsessive fan named Stan.  Over the decade and a half since the song dropped, "stan" slowly became a word fanbases used to describe their devotion to a public figure.  For example, this dufus would be considered a Britney stan

A "decade and a half"? 15 years? Are these guys kidding?  As any true Stan knows, the actual origin story predates this nonsense by 24 years when 3 savants in The Apartment in Lewisburg, PA professed their 'devotion to a public figure.'

Obsessed Stans who obsessed over... Stan.  Reductio ad absurdum.  QED.  🎵m-o-u-s-e🎵

an authentic Stan in native garb and habitat

So fear not native Stans. The AI Intellectual Property Committee in concert with The AI Legal Department is exploring all remedies regarding the obviously libelous activity by Eminem, the Oxford Dictionary and the nerd in the Britney shirt.  As many people are saying, current U.S. libel laws are "a sham and a disgrace and do not represent American values or American fairness," and we are "...going to take a strong look at that."  This carnage stops right here and stops right now.  From this day forward it's going to be only STAN first - STAN first.

But when you ask, when will we again get to don our robes, hoodies, snuggies, doo rags and boxers?  When?  Behold.  

AI-XXII

March 29 - April 2, 2018