Tee For Two

In a stunning upset, The Banquet Director and her husband topped the field in last weekend's annual Couples Club Championship at Bay Hill.  In only their second attempt, the duo played nearly flawless couples golf through the three 6-hole formats and won the net title in 61.8 strokes defeating 20 other teams including former Arnold Palmer Invitational  Champion Robert Gamez and his bride.  Kathi also dragged Stan around well enough to finish 4th gross at 77, 6 back of Gamez.

This epic event entails a best ball format for holes 1-6; modified alternate shot (both players drive and play alternately upon selecting the drive with a minimum of 2 drives/player for the 6 holes) for holes 7-12 and finally a scramble for the final 6 with the same 2 drive minimum.  The kids began on 16 with a par when Stan's 6-iron approach for a potential eagle putt splashed pin high left.  They rebounded quickly though with natural birdies on 17 & 18 (Kathi's drive and Stan's 5-iron to 6' from the back pin).  They then negotiated the best ball portion in 4 under net & 2 over gross before turning to the always entertaining alternate shot.  The marriage survived the alternate shot in 29/22.2, although it was temporarily jeopardized by a lost ball from Stan on #12,  before returning to the comfort of the scramble for the final 3.  Another natural birdie on 13 followed by a par and a bogey (2 missed 5-footers for par) and it was time for a gin & tonic and the coronation as the champs.

Photo of the title holders with their crystal bowl to follow.

Summoning The Demon

"I think we should be very careful about AI," the CEO of both SpaceX and Tesla, said Friday in a talk at MIT in Cambridge, Mass. "If I were to guess at what our biggest existential threat is, it's probably that."

"With AI we are summoning the demon," he said. "You know all those stories where there's the guy with the pentagram and the holy water, and it's like yeah, he’s sure he can control the demon. Doesn't work out."

This isn't the first time Musk has expressed concerns over AI In an interview with The Huffington Post in January, he said, "I hope the AI is nice to us."

Among those who seem to share Musk's concerns is celebrated physicist Stephen Hawking.

"Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history," Hawking said in a Huffington Post blog post co-written by physicists Max Tegmark and Frank Wilczek and computer scientist Stuart Russell. "Unfortunately, it might also be the last, unless we learn how to avoid the risks."

** special thanks to AI-V and AI-XV Champion Bob Paze for his investigative reporting on behalf of the AI media department.

Your Lip Sync Champion

The question of whether to make the Lip-Sync a part of AI-XIX was also addressed in the polling.  The data indicate that there is great interest in an encore.  There were 8 outright 'yes' votes, 3 'maybes' and 1 voyeur: "yes, but with me watching."  Stay tuned for updates and tweaks over the next 50 weeks leading up to AI-XIX.

And, mostly, thanks to all for pouring their energy, heart and soul and making it a night to remember (and you will, assuming the video camera was working).

And The Winner Is.....

The latest addition to the already hysterically paced AI, the Lip Sync competition, brought a range of talent and creativity to the proceedings that could not have been prophesied by NostraStanUs and left all in attendance gasping for the air that their peals of laughter had expelled from their lungs.

Someone had to go first; who could it be (now)?  Who else?  Edie, with a rollicking rendition of the Men Without Hats classic "Safety Dance" complete with....the safety dance.  Next up, Stan, with an improbable interpretation of Taylor Swift's romantic story of true love "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."  This assault on everyone's musical sensibilities was followed by The Apartment Co-Founder Reef, who provided a Sybil-like interpretation of the timeless Sonny & Cher duet "I Got You Babe."  Heimsch reached even farther back into the rock 'n roll archives for the doo-wop classic "Runaround Sue" by Dion & The Belmonts, although no Belmonts were in evidence.  We then saw Kathi ratchet up the intensity with George Thorogood's killer classic "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" only to be foiled by a balky internet that forced her to regroup, restart and still rock the house.  Wally, ever the reluctant warrior, reached deep into his oeuvre and, festooned in fedora and wielding a tennis racket cum Gibson Les Paul, soared through The Allman Brothers' "One Way Out" as a only a guitar hero could.    Kate, fortified by several gallons of Mollydooker Shiraz, strode around the room to The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)", while her roommate, Sean, wryly (?) announcing her choice  as "a song for my generation" ripped through LMFAO's (featuring Lil Jon) "Shots!"  Nora, expressing deeply held feelings that can only be shared among close friends, emoted Cee Lo Green's heart felt relationship tone poem "Fuck You." She was followed by the dark introspection of daughter Emma rocking the coveted AI-XVII hoodie in the dead of summer, who shocked and awed with a pitch perfect take of EMMAnem's "Lose Yourself."   Tony, sporting home made props and the AI-XVIII bucket hat, told us how to stay true to the AI and "Stand By Your Man (Stan)" in an inspired and perspired take on the Tammy Wynette classic.   Gordon brought the show to a stunningly hilarious conclusion with a 'piano-sync,' involving formal AI wear and printed program notes.  He then demonstrated his virtuosity with a performance of John Cage's inaudible classic: 4'33".  Smugly and correctly  anticipating an encore, Gordon wrapped up the proceedings with the equally sonic "Sphinxes from Carnaval" by  Robert  Schumann.

All participants were then given the opportunity to vote anonymously via the internets for their 3 favorite performances.  A first place vote was worth 3 points; a second place vote, two; and a third place vote, one point.  All 12 performers voted.  As the votes poured in, it quickly became apparent that the race for the coveted Lip Sync trophy was going to be a pitched (if not, off-pitch) battle between Sean and Emma.  Emma received 6 first place votes to Sean's 4; no one else received more than 1.  Interestingly, just as no MLB player has ever been unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame, both Emma & Sean were left off of two ballots entirely.  Still, they were the only performers whose vote tally reached double digits, in fact they both soared over the 20 point mark.  When it was all said and done however, Sean's 22 points fell 4 points short of Emmanem's 26 and thus the winner and recipient of the first AI Lip Sync trophy is EMMA!!

Postscript:  We apologize for the inordinate amount of time it took to conduct the balloting for this highly prized award, but we are in Florida after all.

Quick Update

Heading into the final day of AI-XVIII -
GOLF:  after a sterling front nine navigated in 40 strokes - Heimsch finished ahead of the pack after Day 1 with net 73, 3 clear of Gordon, 6 clear of Stan and 9 ahead of Paze.  Given today's handicaps, Gordon leads by 3 heading into the final 18.

LOS was completed - results TBA

The inaugural Lip Sync contest was a rousing success with everything from Eminem to Taylor Swift to LMFAO to Sonny & Cher featured at one point or another.

There is approximately 27 pounds of barbecue remaining for anyone still hungry.

More later.

Friday Recap

The first full day was a typically busy one at AI-XVIII, chock full of excitement, sweat, hail, salt and beer.  When Gordon arrived at Bay Hill this morning, the field was complete and we were ready for the beginning of golf action.  The temperature/humidity combination of late June in Orlando sent the Heat Index soaring over the 100 degree mark but the players soldiered on, refusing to yield to the often oppressive conditions.   Gordon & Stan jumped out to a 1 up lead right out of the shoot when Stan drained a par putt on #1 and it looked to all as if this would be just another steam roller match for Gordon,  the nonpareil and often non-compos-mentis 4-Ball Champion. The lead stayed at 1 until Paze & Heimsch were gifted the 4th hole.  But when, Paze & Heimsch won 8 & 9, the lead was 2 up at the turn.  Play sharpened up quite a bit on the back, with both Heimsch & Stan shooting 40 and Paze adding a 42.  Gordon's par on 10 and birdie on 11 quickly brought his team back to even with the interlopers from Pennsylvania and Tejas.  Heimsch's par on 12 gave his squad a lead they would hold until both he and his partner 3-putted 17 and suddenly we were all even with 1 hole to go.  All the players hit serviceable drives, however both Heimsch & Paze ended up in the greenside bunkers while Gordon lofted high onto the hill left of the green.  Stan meanwhile stroked a 9-iron to about 20' above the cup. Heimsch hit a magnificent sand shot to about 5 feet and when he holed out for 4 after Stan had already done so, the result was the 2nd tie in AI 4-Ball History.  One need to go all the way back to the very first event, played at MetroWest where Jim and Gordon tied Mitch and Nick in a 9-hole match.  Given the heat index, and the looming first day of Lack of Skills, there was a unanimous vote to enter the air-conditioned Men's Locker Room for 30 minutes to drink beer, eat goldfish and nuts and not move.  Then just as the players' and Jim's body temperatures had dipped below critical levels, KT Marinari arrived ready for action in LOS.  So off we went.

We had 3 different winners in the first 3 categories as Kathi won the Long Drive, Rich the 70 yard shot and Wally the chip/pitch shot.  Gordon, wilting in the intense heat of both the Orlando summer and the pressure of the AI, finished last in all 3 events.  The standings after Day 1 have Kathi & Rich tied at the top with 12 points, Wally next with 10, followed by Stan with 8 and Gordon trailing the field with 3.  The putting, sand play and 40 yard shot remain.

Bowling For Sotweeds went to Kings Bowl America for the first time.  There were lights, but not the kind that help you see anything, huge video screens, loud music, lots of food and beer and some bowling.  Paze opted out pleading a fragile back; Gordon fought through an injured knee for 1 game but took himself out of the competition for Game 2.  The results?  Same as it ever was (almost):  Reef won the Boys Side and Edie the Girls BUT with her stirring performance and Reef's advancing age, Edie came within 4 pins of toppling Reef for the overall crown and family bragging rights at the upcoming STIFF weekend in a couple of weeks.  There will be crowing nonetheless.

A few more music videos, a vain attempt at Rickles and Seinfeld thwarted by a balky network, and one by one the group shuffled off to sleep with dreams of Day 2 and the beginning of the AI Championship on their minds.  More importantly, everyone was prepping for the highly anticipated debut of AI-Lip Sync.  Can anyone other than Sean, Kate and Emma remember the words to their songs?

And that's the way it was on Day 1 of AI-XVIII.

Important Wardrobe Information for Bowling For Sotweeds

The AI Bowling For Sotweeds Committee calls your attention to the following Dress Code in place for tonight's action.  This is an obvious attempt to limit groups such as ours from patronizing this establishment, but we shall persevere nevertheless.

Dress Code

• No excessively baggy clothing of any kind
• No work style boots
• No baseball caps
• No bandanas/doo rags
• No sleeveless shirts
• No bluetooth devices
• No oversized chains or pendants
• Persons wearing torn or soiled clothing may only be admitted at the discretion of Management
• No hats, clothing, jewelry or visible tattoos with profanity or objectionable art
• Sunglasses may not be worn on the premises
• All back packs and/or bags are subject to be searched by Kings staff

Kings reserves the right to modify the dress code guidelines for any reason, including or due to local or seasonal conditions or special events.

It Is Time

Miracle On Eyes

For many of us in AI-world, the idea of waking in the morning and gazing at one's bedside clock to check the time is as involuntary and unthinking a process as breathing.  For others however, this simple task requires a quite voluntary and active process.  Many of you are aware of what the inside of your shower stall looks like - again, for others of us, the tile pattern, letters on the faucet, where the soap dish is, are all part of life's mysteries.  Packing bags for traveling requires forethought for all of us, but for some it also requires several pairs of prescription glasses along with a few boxes of contact lenses, many bottles of solutions, 3 oz. or less lest the gendarmes at Heathrow or elsewhere take them from you, and then the reading and sunglasses we all carry.  Plus, these must be in the carry on.  They simply cannot be lost, for if they are the next stop will be for a cane.  Most of you can tell the difference between a bowl of sugar and a bowl of milk with your naked eye.  Some of us get our fingers wet trying to figure it out.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

Recently, AI-XVII Champion Rich Heimsch decided to take the leap and have his cataract afflicted lenses replaced with brand spanking new plastic lenses.  Not only would they be unobstructed by cloudy, blurry spots but they would also be of the prescription that would allow him to see 20/20 without glasses or contacts.  It worked.  His reaction, "wow!"

Then about 3 weeks ago, after much much gnashing of teeth & consultation with Mr. Heimsch and several other friends along with umpteen visits to the ophthalmologist, your bloviating blogger also took the plunge.  There were no cataracts for this reporter, so the surgery, known as RLE, was 'elective.'  Confident that nothing could possibly go wrong after obsessing over the 17 pages of warnings and remotely possible side effects and sending myriad question-laden emails to my surgeon's office,  I, too, allowed a doctor wielding a laser and 10mg of valium to blast my existing unfocused lenses to smithereens with ultrasound, suction out the detritus and insert brand new ones.

It's a revelation.  For the first time since my kindergarten teacher told me she didn't really care if I could see or not but I better shut up, I can see unaided. 

I notice the shower stall needs some caulk.....

Running to the AI

This past weekend saw the two youngest members of the AI cult jog, run, trot, wheeze and gasp their way across 13.1 miles of Connecticut and complete their first competitive half-marathon in AI record time of 2:21:10!  An amazing performance from Kate and Sean.

This makes them the second and third members of the AI to complete such a grueling competition.  The first, of course, is Gordon; who completed a full marathon in Hawaii many moons ago.  Upon completing the race, Gordon announced his intention to take some time off from training to let his aching muscles and broken toe nails heal.

We anxiously await that return.

AI-I Champ in the News

For reasons that have escaped us [although it has provided hours of material] since the inaugural AI when Gordon declared victory after 27 holes and fled Orlando to 'play' softball, there is a softball league in which a person can simply stand around for hours on end, intermittently wave a bat at a ball pitched at 5 or 6 mph and consider that he has 'played' a game.  Admittedly, this league is in Sarasota, where someone is considered young if they can wait until 6pm to eat dinner.  Hours that could have been spent doing more productive things such as rearranging the spice rack, cleaning the grout in the shower or watching reruns of "The Munsters" were instead spent in an activity presaging recreation hour in a nursing home.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the New College Bones Softball Team.  A team of inclusion.  Anyone is welcome: toddlers, relics, men, women, the tall, the short and some who can actually still kneel - and more importantly, get back up.

On another note, Gordon continues to exploit his faithful companion Sam as a way to pad his bona fides as a scientist.  Gordon is a major player in one of the more pressing controversies facing modern academia:  should students be allowed to have pets on campus?  This, along with trigger warnings prior to teaching a particular book or topic in order to protect fragile students' psyches and the dangers of gluten are the defining issues facing today's college educators and Gordon, too.  See this photo from the Sarasota Herald Tribune featuring Sam and sycophantic companion.

It's Official

Well, the final handicap revision has been made by the GHIN system and we now know exactly where the players stand as we careen towards AI-XVIII.

Two major moves have occurred since the last revision.  First, two-time Champion Paze is apparently starting to see results from his intensive 6 week instructional program at Bay Hill earlier this year as his index plummeted 2.4 points leaving him firmly atop the final ratings.  Second, Gordon managed to cleverly play enough rounds to have his previous best round drop out of his last 20 rounds and therefore send his index up by nearly 2 points.  Stan saw no change to his index, while Heimsch had a mild uptick that will not affect his course handicap.

Herewith the final numbers.  A note about the Combo Tees handicaps:  those numbers are correct only if everyone plays from the that tee box.  Should a player or players opt to play from the Yellow tees, players choosing to play from the Combos will lose two shots off of their handicap.


                     INDEX     YELLOW     COMBO

PAZE               5.7            7               7
MFB                9.3           11             11
HEIMSCH        11            13             13
GORDON         16            19             19

It's Pronounced How?

We bring you the following announcement from the AI-I Champion:

 

 

Gordon and the Draft

For years, AI insiders have pooh-poohed, and occasionally har-harred, at Gordon's refusal to retire from the diamond.  His participation on his team reduced to slightly more than that of lurker; his physical exertion in the range of the average WalMart customer riding around in a motorized cart; Gordon has soldiered on.  The scorn heaped upon him and his fellow teammates by the opposition has done nothing to lessen their compulsion to pantomime a real team.

Yet, sipping this morning's coffee whilst perusing the daily paper, this startling headline re yesterday's MLB draft verily leapt from the page.

What are we to believe?  In the mangled syntax of our 43rd President, have we been misunderestimating him?

Likely not, but.....

Will This Get Reef Back on the Golf Course??

As most of us are aware, the game of golf is going through a difficult time.  The cost, difficulty of the game, aging of the country club set, physical breakdown of Tiger, and most importantly, the retirement of James B. Reifsnyder are conspiring to reduce the numbers of people playing the game, buying equipment and watching the typically glacial 'action' on the telly.

But wait!  Come now a way to play that combines the ennui of golf with the insightfulness of Cheech and Chong.  A way to play that allows golf to stay au courant with our evolving cultural climate (applies only to parts of the country that actually embrace evolution and understand the difference between a theory and a hypothesis).

Come Back Reef

it is June

And so we enter the month of AI-XVIII.  With little more than 3 weeks remaining before the date-shifted annual gathering, we bring you a few reports from AI-HQ.

First, the penultimate handicap report shows that Paze has reestablished his dominance atop the field, while Heimsch draws ever closer to MFB and Gordon lurks at the back of the pack.

                     INDEX     YELLOW     COMBO

PAZE              8.1             10               9
MFB                9.3             11              11
HEIMSCH       10.7             13              12
GORDON        14.3*           18              17

Gordon gets an (*) because apparently someone was nice enough to post a low score for him that he did not shoot on a golf course he did not play.  The AI has contacted Edward Snowden to get to the bottom of this nefarious behavior.

Second, we would like to remind everyone, as in everyone, that their participation in the Saturday night AI Lip Sync Battle is mandatory.  Everyone shall prepare and perform a 60 seconds long lip sync to a song of their choice.  Please refer to our previous post for instructions or contact AI-HQ with any questions.

Update from the Banquet Department

With nary more than a month to go, The Banquet Director has taken a new tack in her preparation for the big weekend.  No longer content to merely conjure enticing menu after enticing menu or serve one delicious course after the next, our beloved BD has taken her talents to a new arena.

And so today, in the heat of the late morning in Orlando, playing with her teaching pro, Tom Garner, Kathi lined up a PW on #2 of the Charger, drew the club back, initiated the downswing and sent the ball on a majestic arc toward the green.  When the ball came to rest, 72 yards later, it was, as you may have surmised at this point, in the hole.  A 1.  An ace.  An eagle.  A great day at The Orlando Apartment. 

Today, the drinks are on the Banquet Director!

Shut Up and Putt

Coming Attractions

With the temperature in Orlando set to soar into the high 90's this Memorial Day weekend, our thoughts naturally turn to noted game show host & decorated climatologist, Pat Sajak, who recently claimed via Twitter that "I now believe global warming alarmists are unpatriotic racists knowingly misleading for their own ends."

With that in mind, we urge everyone to dial back their alarm, stow their racist tendencies, be patriots and bring their AI Hoodies & ski caps to AI-XVIII. 

Remember, summer in Orlando is merely a state of mind; sunscreen is a liberal plot promoted by the lame stream media.

And, while you're getting ready and packing your gear, take a look-see here:

Handicapping

The drumbeat of AI-XVIII, once so faint, is steadily building.  Either that or someone is playing drums in the neighborhood.

Herewith the handicaps of the field as of the May 15th GHIN revision:


                      INDEX    YELLOW     COMBO

PAZE              9.4               11              11
MFB                9.6               11              11
HEIMSCH       11.2              13              13
GORDON        15.1              18              17

They Say It's Your Birthday

61 years ago today, somewhere in the swamps of Jersey, a towheaded baby was born to Dolly and Howard, joining sister Sue and thus completing the real Reifsnyders of Florham Park.

I know you will join all of us here at AI HQ in congratulating Jim on surviving another year.

May Day Handicap Report

Very little movement since the last revision.  Everyone but Burke improved their indexes a bit, with Heimsch improving his yellow tees handicap by 1. 

So with about 7 weeks to go, only two strokes separate 3 of the players while Gordon is apparently lying in wait about to make his move on the home stretch.  Or not.

Herewith the numbers as of the May Day revision:

                                 INDEX         BAY HILL (yellow tees)
BURKE:                      8.9                11
PAZE:                          9.9               12
HEIMSCH:                11.3                13
GORDON:                 15.0                18
MARINARI:              33.9               39  (white tees)

The AI-XVIII Lip-Sync Challenge

The AI is constantly looking for ways to stay vital, fresh and exciting.  Failing that, we sit on the couch and watch TV.  This year, the AI will be held in the sultry Florida summer for only the second time and the first time without a subscript.  The AI-XVIII Events Committee has taken its charge to heart and the result is a new competition destined to find its place in AI history alongside other competitions too tedious to mention.

And so, we present the Inaugural AI Lip-Sync Challenge.  This event is mandatory for all AI attendees.  Given the tremendous (latent?) talent lying within the expanded roster of attendees for AI-XVIII, the evening promises to one to remember; although no one other than Sean, Kate and Emma likely will.

Herein the rules:
1.  each participant must prepare and lip sync/perform 60 seconds of a song that will be judged by the other participants on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being the best score.
2.  Scores will be written down anonymously and stowed secretly in a mayonnaise jar on the porch of AI HQ
3.  each performance will be recorded on video for blackmail purposes
4.  Scores will be tallied and the winner will be feted with meaningless compliments and swag
5.  Paze, a pioneer in the field, may not use 'Rocky Raccoon'

As a means of demonstrating how the contest works and to show whence it was stolen, please see below:

Jimmy....Buffet?

Stans,
The AI and its participants are renowned for many things, not least of which (or possibly least of which) is their philanthropy.  There are many examples of our largesse: after leaving his reading glasses in the car, Gordon once accidentally bought a drink for a friend; Heimsch, thinking he was simply playing his 57th hole of the day, bought a drink from the beverage cart girl and only later realized that he had inadvertently purchased a raffle ticket in a charity golf tournament.  The stories of our collective and individual altruism are legion.

To wit, the Reef, whose nom de ecole is Reif (?), recently put all of us to shame when he selflessly donated his time and talents to an often overlooked cause:  raising money for the 1%.  Sure, people routinely give of themselves to help those less fortunate, but how many of us really take the time to ensure that those more fortunate stay that way?

The Importance of Stretching

All athletes, particularly golfers, and more particularly the elite participants at the AI, know well the importance of stretching prior to play.  The AI Training Staff takes the health of its players very seriously and as such has collaborated with Golf Digest to offer this training guide for the upcoming 18th iteration of the AI. 

Additionally, our research indicates use of the AI Shake Weight can enhance the benefits of this stretching regimen.  Lastly, unlike the instructor in the video, we recommend that our players be clad in either their AI bathrobe or AI sports jacket in order to gain maximum benefit from the program.

The Ides of April

April 15th, a day of reckoning; a day of postmarks; a day of writing big checks and thinking that one part of the Republican platform suddenly seems to make a lot of sense - you know, the one where everyone gets to keep all of their money because corporations will do the right thing and take care of everything for us if we just leave them alone; a day of deductions and receipts; or, as Wesley Snipes calls it "the day before April 16th"

and....the day of the latest GHIN handicap revision.  For the first time in recent AI history we have a new name at the top of the list.  Yes, Paze's program of spending 6 weeks in Florida taking lessons and revamping his swing after 50+ years has paid great dividends already:  an increase of 4 strokes to his Index, proving once again that practice doesn't necessarily make perfect.

Meanwhile, Gordon continues to play on a pitch and putt course so he can break 90; Heimsch is sporting a new eye ball and awaiting another one; Burke and Marinari try to fit in as much early evening golf as they can before the onslaught of the inevitable heat; while excessive viewing of the Premier League has Reef wearing a beanie and a scarf and speaking in a Liverpool accent to the consternation of his students

Here are the numbers as of today's revision:

                                 INDEX         BAY HILL (yellow tees)
BURKE:                      8.9                11
PAZE:                        10.1               12
HEIMSCH:                11.7                14
GORDON:                 15.2                18
MARINARI:              34.5                39  (white tees)

Handicap Update

Like disgraced Presidential candidate John Edwards' two Americas, we seem to be heading for two AI's.  Given the recent handicap revision posted on Saturday, this reporter has one more reason to be relieved that AI-XVIII has been shifted to the heat and humidity of late June.  On a related note, the Handicap Committee is examining the resume of a Mr. Snowden for a possible position examining the security of score posting on the GHIN system.

As of March 1, 2014

                       Index/ BH Hcp from Yellow Tees

PAZE:           6.6 / 8
BURKE:       7.9 / 9
HEIMSCH:  12.8 / 15
GORDON:   15.5 / 18

Handicapped

From the When Pigs Fly Department, for the first time in AI history, all players have official GHIN handicaps!  For years, Gordon could only guess; Heimsch would post with the frequency of a 7-year locust; Paze always posts, but his handicap either doesn't travel well or he was as out of golf shape as he is out of shape generally; while Burke posts everything, but typically needs a hang over adjustment.  But, with the onset of the summer AI, Gordon's entry into the GHIN system and Heimsch's return to posting, we may actually have some usable data for AI-XVIII.

Herewith the current Indexes for the players:

Paze:  6.6
Burke:  9.3
Heimsch:  10
Gordon:  15.1

Translated into yellow tees at Bay Hill:

Paze:  8
Burke:  11
Heimsch:  12
Gordon: 18

Several players may opt to play from the Red Tees or the Combo Tees.  Adjustments for that can be made - typically 3-4 shots deducted for the Reds and 1-2 shots for the Combos.

Endangered Stans

The time for action is now - once they're gone, they're gone! We have all seen the remarkable outcome when  human beings  (except for most human beings) realize that we are about to wipe another species off the face of the earth and beat the world wide web drum to save it so our grandchildren can experience it. As we know from politicians and the national debt, Americans are obsessed with protecting our grandchildren; at least until they're born, then screw 'em, they're on their own.

But I digress. Herewith, a news item from Reuters worthy of our immediate attention; clearly a cause that needs a champion. An AI Champion.  Or possibly a village.  A village of idiots.  We must act!

Kazakhstan Name Change? President Nursultan Nazarbayev Considers Dropping The 'Stan'

ALMATY, Feb. 7 (Reuters) - President Nursultan Nazarbayev may drop the 'stan' from Kazakhstan to distinguish his booming oil-rich nation from the rest of Central Asia, where the other so-called stans are mostly mired in poverty.

"In our country's name, there is this 'stan' ending which other Central Asian nations have as well.  But, for instance, foreigners show interest in Mongolia, whose popoulation is just two million people, but whose name lacks the 'stan' ending," Nazarbayev's press service quoted him as saying.

THE TIME FOR ACTION IS NOW.   PLEASE HELP SAVE THE STANS