Final Handicap Report

Well, a years worth of flailing at golf balls has yielded the final handicap report for AI-XIX, now a scant 10 days away.  In the two weeks since the last glance at the mediocrity of the three players not named Pease, we notice a trend; a trend heading in the wrong direction.  Tournament Director  Burke leads the march upward after a string of abysmal performances spanning 4 golf courses and two states during which he has not struck the ball less than 95 times in any round, has posted scores of 50 or more in 5 of his last 8 nines and has suffered 25 penalty shots.  Some might question his motivation, but need only consult the Banquet Director who bore witness to 3 of the 4 debacles.

Paze has added nearly a stroke to his handicap index, although it still bears the scarlet 'R' of the USGA.  The AI Handicap Committee will be in consultation with the USGA to determine the best way to equitably control this player's propensity for rising to the occasion.

Heimsch added half a shot to his index,  which was enough to keep him trailing Burke but now by the slimmest of margins:  one tenth of a shot.

Gordon was the only combatant who apparently does not understand the concept of preparing for a big tournament as he lowered his index by nearly a half a point.  That move combined with the upward moves of the other 3 scalawags leaves us with a slightly reduced range of indexes (indices?) for the 19th running of the balls.

There has been much interest in the venues for AI-XIX.  We have entertained suggestions ranging from miniature golf to staying at HQ and watching other people play golf on the tee wee.  But, after careful consideration, the AI Venue Committee has settled on two courses that have previous experience hosting the AI.  The requirements to stage an AI are simply too complex to expect an inexperienced club to be able to handle it properly.  Also, no one else would let us play.

Round 1 will be played at Falcon's Fire Golf Club, scene of the 4-Ball in AI-IV, V and XIV as well as Round 2 of AI-II and Round 1 of AI-XI.

Round 2 will take place at Shingle Creek Golf Club, host of the AI-X 4-Ball and winter home club of Paze.

Here then, the numbers:

As of June 15, 2015
                                                 FF       SC
Robert Pease:   5.3    [+ .7]         6          6
Mitch Burke:     10.8   [+ 1]        12        12
Rich Heimsch:   10.9   [+ .5]       13        12
Gordon:           16.1    [- .4]        19        18

FF = Falcon's Fire
SC = Shingle Creek

For comparison, these were the player indexes for AI-XVIII, one year ago.  A quick glance informs us that the players have studied, taken lessons, adjusted swings, read articles, watched Golf Channel and contorted through all sorts of mental gymnastics for naught.  Even MFB, prior to his recent spasm, would have been within .5 of his AI-XVIII index.


             AI-XVIII  INDEX  

PAZE              5.7          
MFB                9.3          
HEIMSCH         11         
GORDON          16