Stompin' With The Savoie

"Uncorrected Personality Traits" - never in the history of AI Lip Sync has a song so perfectly captured how something like The AI could develop into whatever the hell it is.

Nora Tells All

The AI has always been a safe space where Stans are always welcome to share their innermost feelings and most personal confessions.  In that vein, we present Nora, an invaluable member of The AI Banquet Department and devout friend for almost 4 decades (gasp)

The Day The Music Died (again)

On February 3, 1959, JP, the Big Bopper, Richardson, Richie Valens and Buddy Holly were killed in a plane crash in a small town in Iowa.  On April 1, 2018 The AI paid (inadvertent) tribute to that dark moment in rock and roll history.  As we have already seen, Reef, who has made an AI career of using electronic devices that are not plugged in, did The Big Bopper proud with a stirring evocation of "Chantilly Lace".  He couldn't have known that only minutes later AI rookie Nick would bring the crowd to its feet with “La Bamba”, the signature song of The Big Bopper's partner in fate, Ritchie Valens.

AI Productions would like to thank The AI Department of Redundancy Department, led by Cleo, for picking up the feed when the original feed was inadvertently lost due to technical difficulties possibly due to excess alcohol consumption.

GORDON

Gordon chose to use material that apparently does not exist in the internet database thus allowing it to be published on YouTube, while simultaneously eschewing the 'lip' component of 'lip sync'.

The AI Lip Sync Subcommittee thus presents this perplexing performance

Nevertheless We Persisted

The AI Tech Department has been fierce in its determination to air what must be aired in order to provide maximum entertainment (?) in the final run-up to AI-XXIII.  In that spirit, we present Robert Wallace Pease via Dropbox.  Please look for the link coming soon to an email inbox on your computer.

And as a bonus (?) for all of our patient Stans, we present James B. Reifsnyder simultaneously and at the same time.

Sean Redacted

Attorney General Barr has reviewed the complete version of Sean's performance and has released this summary:

Hi Mitch Burke,
Due to a copyright claim, your YouTube video has been blocked. This means that your video can no longer be played on YouTube.

Video title: Sayon
Copyrighted content: Ironic (2015 Remaster)
Claimed by: WMG

Lippy Leaks- Part Deux

As previously threatened, The AI Productions Staff (please do not refer to us as a "team"), following the lead of that paragon of virtue Julian Assange, will release damaging information about each attendee over the next 8 days.

Here now, Part 2 - Olivia and John trip over the light fantastic

Coming Soon

For those of you scoring at home, or even if you're alone, you are no doubt breathlessly counting down the hours until the XXIIIrd iteration of The AI.

Behold a little something to further whet your anticipation while you wet your whistles

Kitchen Invitational

The Banquet Director spent the better part of two days preparing for the annual AI Italian night singing Verdi while slicing, dicing, mix mastering and simmering not only tomato sauce but her temper after pot of sauce #1 overstayed its time on the burner a tad too long resulting in a malodorous scent wafting through AI HQ.  Fortunately our acute senses of smell allowed us to diagnose the situation in mere hours which is really all that can be expected given that we were ensconced in our barcaloungers at least 27 feet away from the stove during the entire process.

Never one to allow a small conflagration to stand in the way of her appointed rounds, The BD soldiered on and also produced dozens of balls of meat, rolls of dough and casings of ground pork leading to The Director's favorite pre-AI morning wherein breakfast and lunch consist of the aforementioned piping hot balls of meat eaten directly from a sizzling frying pan.  This diet is the result of The AI Nutrition Department recently concluding a double blind study affirming the hypothesis proffered 3 decades ago in "Sleeper":

Dr. Melik:  This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk."
Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.
Dr. Melik:  You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or...hot fudge?
Dr. Aragon:  Those were thought to be unhealthy...precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true
Dr. Melik:  Incredible...

Golf Handicaps (numerical only...)

The AI Competition Committee has just finished checking the internets for 90 seconds or so in an attempt to provide a fair and equitable competition for the golf portion of AI-XXIII.

The handicaps are based on those identifying as men playing from the yellow/red combo tees and those identifying as women playing from the white tees.  Should any of the men choose to move up to the red tees, they will sacrifice 3 strokes on their handicap.

Here are the numbers per the most recent GHIN revision.  The final numbers will be published upon the final pre-AI revision on April 1st.


PLAYER      INDEX     COURSE HCP

T. KORP            7.0                8

BURKE             8.8               10

HEIMSCH        14.3               17
PAZE              16.1               19
GORDON        18.6                22
C KORP          24.8                27
KATHI            27.1                30

Mouth to Mouth Synchronization

Repression.  Where would be without it?  I don't like to think about it...

But, although most Stans spend the better part of the year trying desperately to at least forget, if not fully repress, memories of the previous AI, the near constant surveillance from the AI Production Department makes that a fool's errand, which, uninterestingly, is also the working title of The Director's memoir:  "The Life of Stan, A Fool's Errand".

Several of the worrisome questions AI Stans commonly ask of themselves in moments of self-reflection include:

"I did what??"
"I drank how much??"
"Who knew you could mix vodka with bourbon, tequila and chocolate milk?"
"I had no idea I could sleep in that position"
"Why didn't I get that tetanus shot before I got into the hot tub?"

The most vigorous attempts at repression however, undoubtedly center on the performances at the annual Lip Sync revue.  Here, in this steaming cauldron of peer pressure, the performers, many of whom have spent upwards of 30 minutes over the previous 52 weeks rehearsing, share one simple wish:  that the camera malfunctions.

The camera functioned.  Additionally, AI-XXII showcased a new level of expertise from the AI Productions Department as film maker, editor, writer, videographer and busboy, Nick Weiss-Richmond risked his burgeoning career and took his considerable experience and expertise behind The Official AI Camera to record the proceedings at his inaugural AI.

With that in mind, The AI Blog Department in cooperation with AI Productions will release each Stan's AI-XXII performance over the next two weeks to fuel the festering fire of AI preparation.

Herewith and therefore, with no further babble is Part 1:  "How do I work this?"

The Unbreakable Kim Jong-Il

It would appear that Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un's baby daddy, was ideally suited for AI competition.  Let us now pause and unleash our imaginations as to how he would have fared in the competitive cauldron of The AI.

He excelled at golf and bowling; you might say he was a natural at both.  You might also say that AI-XXII Champion Heimsch is a natural ballroom dancer.

In his very first round in 1994, Kim finished an 18-hole round of golf a mere 38 under par over the 7,700 yard championship course at Pyongyang, according to the always reliable state media.  Kim was "in a zone," recording five holes-in-one, although some reports have the number as high as 11.  Another report has him bowling a perfect game of 300 in his first attempt on the lanes (and with rented shoes).

His interest in soccer and basketball, although unrelated to The AI, are also of interest.  He offered coaching advice during the 2010 World Cup, communicating with coach Kim Jong-Hun via "invisible cellphone," a technique frequently employed over the years by AI-X Champ Reifsnyder.  Jong-Il is said to have developed the technology himself after dropping a tab of acid and watching Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse.  In the women's World Cup, the North Korea coach said his team lost to the United States 11 because his peers were struck by lightning during a practice season in North Korea.  The coach was immediately executed as Jong-Il reminded the country that there is no lightning in North Korea.

Reached on his Princess phone at his home in Sarasota, two-time AI Champion Gordon opined that "anyone who uses lightning as an excuse for poor performance is a disgrace and weak," he added "this obviously comes from someone who has no ability to provide credible excuses for losing, something with which I have considerable expertise."



Repeated attempts to reach Kim the younger or any of his representatives regarding Kim the elder's lip sync prowess went unanswered.