As we enter the tabula rasa of 2024, The AI Calendar Committee wishes all Stans a very happy and healthy new year. In the 6 months since we gathered for AI-XXVII, there has been an additional accumulation of Stans in the Los Angeles area. There are now 6 Stans living full or part time there, with Kate G relocating in June and the arrival of AriStan in September followed by The TD and BD in November.
Stans came from California, Texas, Pennsylvania and Florida to assemble at the relocated AI-HQ in Highlands, NC. The third HQ in AI history greeted the Stans with cool mountain air, beautiful Carolina blue skies and the usual array of paraphernalia that was relocated from the longstanding AI-HQ in Orlando despite the fervent yet ultimately futile protestations of The BD.
Thursday was a day for arrivals except for those who arrived earlier. Beginning the Saturday prior, Sean & Nick, Kate G and Gordon sequentially made their way up the mountain to the Highlands-Cashiers plateau. The BD arranged for the traditional opening night BBQ dinner featuring ribs, brisket and pulled pork from the local Highlands BBQ joint with 13 pounds of mac and cheese, 400 onion rings and 8 pounds of slaw and potato salad from Wildcat Cliffs Country Club (WCCC).
Friday was Day 1 of the erstwhile centerpiece of The AI - golf. Five contestants and one observer set out for the latest addition to the storied roster of AI golf courses, WCCC. The players hacked their way through the round in 5 tortuous hours yearning for the comfort of AI-HQ and Saturday's day off before the resumption of play on Sunday. The Director's net 74 led The BD by 1, Gordon by 3, Paze by 8 and Heimsch by 13. Captivated by the frantic pace of play, Jim vowed never to watch another round of AI golf.
Dinner featured the annual fried chicken gastropalooza, with WCCC's Chef Will frying up enough chicken and tater tots for this and several future AI's, while also providing a 12 pound tray of caesar salad. Manhattans, martinis, wine, beer and vapes were flowing freely. This would not bode well for Saturday morning...
Saturday was scheduled to be a day off for the ancient linkspersons, except for the annual tedium known as Lack of Skills. But as has been previously noted, Highlands is in a rain forest and the forecast for Sunday was characteristic of such, so...change of plans. Round 2 was pushed up a day. After a frantic search for Advil, the players departed for the golf course while Jim the observer, overcome with ennui from the day before, elected to stay at AI-HQ with Kate R and whomever else straggled in from the Airbnb. The round evoked the joyfulness of the POW'S in "The Bridge Over the River Kwai" sans the whistling. When it finally limped to a halt, The Director had won his first Championship since AI-XX, and 12th overall while halting the consecutive tournament win streak of The BD at 4, who finished second, 6 shots back. Wally was 10 shots further back, followed by Gordon and finally Heimsch bringing up the proverbial rear. Upon their return to AI-HQ, the rest of the Stans were nonplussed.
Saturday evening of course features the annual exacta of Italian Night and Lip Sync! Neither would disappoint. Stans, utilizing time tested techniques of napping, coffee, drugs and more napping prepared themselves for the big night. The BD and her weeks of preparation again lavished the congregation with mountains of manicotti, meatballs, sausage, garlic bread and, of course, sauce gravy.
Then it was time for Lip Sync! Another smashing success as Stans all brought it, including Edie who sent it... from a sisters vacation in Knoebel's Grove, PA. Here's what happened, in order of appearance:
Edie (feat. Anna) - Memories Are Made of This - Dean Martin
Kate G - Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Wally - Running On Empty - Jackson Brown
Nora - Be My Baby - The Ronettes
Rich - Break On Through - The Doors
Mitch & Kathi - Gone At Last - Paul Simon
Sean - Papa Don’t Preach - Madonna
Nick - Lithium - Nirvana
Jim - You Won’t See Me - Beatles
Encore - Edie (feat. Anna) - Memories Are Made of This - Dean Martin
Sunday arrived with the predicted rain and far too soon for several Stans. The silver lining for many in the gray rainy day was the cancellation of Lack of Skills. Stans were briefly perplexed by the uncharacteristic lack of structure, but... Thanks to the planning and generosity of Kate G and Nora, AI Sunday afternoon was transformed into a surprise baby shower for Sean (and Nick, who wasn't surprised, because, well, The Director) featuring perhaps the oddest assortment of clothing ever worn at a baby shower. There were decorations, gifts, Palomas, mock Palomas and much kvelling.
Stans then retreated to their corners to prepare for the annual fete known as The Banquet. The clouds parted, the skies cleared, the borrowed table was covered with a table cloth and everyone assembled on the back deck for mirth, merriment and another spectacular feast featuring pizzas from Papa Nick, little gem salad, prime New York strip roast, mashed potatoes a la Thomas Keller via Nora accompanied by Nora's renowned gravy, roasted mushroom piccata and citrus cheesecake a la Alison Roman via Sean
The AI Executive Committee thanks all Stans for attending and for their contributions that made AI-XXVII another smashing success. To Rich for his annual case of wine, to Gordon for his bottles of fine champagne, to Nora & Kate G for the shower (and much more), to Kate R for her yummy biscotti, to Jim for his pickles and beer, to Wally for his vape, annual lobster dinner and musical advice, to Sean for her desserts, to Nick for his tireless work in the kitchen and, of course, to The BD, without whom...
SAVE THE DATE
AI-XXVIII
JUNE 20 - 24, 2024
HIGHLANDS, NC
AriStan
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