The Apartment Invitational press office has just learned that Sean Eva "Weeds" Burke will be attending AI-XIV. Her publicist initially announced that she would be in LA during the AI and unavailable to sleep on an air mattress underneath her mother's office desk. But, it is now being reported that she has made the decision to attend her 15th consecutive AI. 15? Yes, for one year, the AI emulated Major League Baseball's 1960's debacle of having two All-Star Games by staging a 2nd AI - dubbed 2.0. After the Banquet Director threatened to castrate each participant, one by one, in their sleep,if it ever happened again, it was unanimously decided to return to the annual format.
Sean therefore remains an AI legacy. One of only five people to have attended each AI. The other four, of course, are James B. "Reef" "Rife" Reifsnyder; Kathaleen T. Marinari; Edith E. "Weedith" Horsey; and yours truly, Mitchell F. "King Dipshit" Burke.
It should be noted that Sean, a senior at the far left's darling Wesleyan University, will turn 22 years of age on Tuesday, just two days before AI-XIV. I know you will join me in congratulating her on her decision to have another birthday subsumed by the cacophony of the AI.
Weeds here.
ReplyDeleteI thought long and hard about how to best spend my last spring break as a college student. I had all the options in the world available to me: beach houses, road trips, skiing, etc etc etc. And yet, even though the cons outweighed the pros by a large margin, there was something about AI XIV I just could not resist. In the end my decision to partake in the unholy debauchery of the AI is probably for the worst.
I can't wait!
- Weeds